Title: Worth It All
Part: 1/1
Author: Lilas
E-mail: lilas_01@yahoo.com
Website: Lilas' LJ
Rating: G
Character/Pairing: Edward
Disclaimer: FMA isn’t mine. Ed isn’t mine, but damn it do I want a plushie!!
Summary: Edward Elric has made decision from which he’ll never be able to back down.
Warnings: Angst
Author’s Note: This fic was inspired after I read panserbj0rne’s fic! So kudos to her ^^ This is the first depressing fic I’ve written in a while. Yay for good angst (and Ed is a never ending source of it). I just hope I don’t end up writing a death fic soon… Well, Enjoy!! And lemme know what you think ^^

There was no way around it.

He looked over his notes one last time, looking, searching, examining every word, every hidden meaning behind the letters, but there was none. Sacrifices must be made. Exchanges must be dealt, and this was one trade he couldn’t get around of.

It’ll be worth it.

He looked up, golden eyes taking in the form of his brother sitting by the window, looking out the glass and into the night. He remembered Alphonse loved the feel of cool glass. He remembered the small, satisfied sighs he used to let out every time his warm forehead had come into contact with the glass and how gray eyes closed in blissfulness.

It’ll be worth it.

He looked back down at the scattered pieces of paper and sighed again. He couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t tell anyone. But he should. Someone needed to understand his decision. Maybe he should talk to Mustang. It was the least he could do for the man who had supported him all these years.

The man wouldn’t stop him either. He might argue, and he might blackmail and make him feel guilty, but he wouldn’t stop him. He understood (better than anyone maybe) what it was like to give up everything for a goal. What it was like after you had obtained that goal.

It’ll be worth it.

Standing up, he smiled at Alphonse when the suit of armor turned around. He waved his hand in salute and stepped out of the room. A few minutes later found him knocking quietly at the wooden door of the General and slowly walking in, closing it properly behind him.

“What did you find?”

Sometimes the man’s ability to see through everyone impressed Edward. He had known (by the first knock probably) that this meeting involved the Stone. He had known before Edward had even closed the door that this meeting would be pivotal. He had known, and Edward knew he had used the five seconds it had taken him to step into the office to prepare for the upcoming argument.

Silently Fullmetal made his way to the desk and deposited his notes. He stood in front of the desk, looking at the General with an undecipherable expression for a second before he settled himself on the couch. He stayed still, one arm draped on the back of the leather seat, legs crossed, waiting for the questions to come.


And so it began. “Next full moon.”

“That’s in a week. It’s too short a notice.”

“It’s never soon enough for him.”

“He’ll hate you.”

“He’ll be happy, at least. It’s the least I can give him.”

“He’ll be miserable and blame himself.”

“He’ll understand.”

The General sighed and tightened his lips. “Use someone else.”

“My blood is the one that binds his soul. My blood has to release it.”

He heard the General heave a sigh. It was over. He had won his first argument with his superior but he didn’t feel as triumphant as he thought he should.

It’ll be worth it.

“Are you ready?”

Fullmetal considered the question carefully, golden eyes narrowed in thought but never looking at the General. At last he dropped his head, bangs obscuring his face. “I’ve been ready since I was eleven.”

“You won’t reconsider.” It wasn’t a statement per say, but Fullmetal knew there was no need to answer it.

“You won’t stop me.” It was a question to which he already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it anyway. He wanted to make sure his commander, his friend, his confidant, wouldn’t betray him.

He watched as the General stood up and stepped away from his chair and around his desk to stand in front of him. He looked down at the blonde, smile vanished, air professional. He snapped to attention and saluted the younger man in front of him. “It was pleasure serving with you, Fullmetal.”

The blond smiled and returned the salute (the only proper one he had ever given the General). “It was a pleasure serving with you as well, General.”

He bowed then, grabbed his offered notes and left the office, heart heavy and set on what he must do. Things had changed since he was eleven. He had grown. He had come to understand the true meaning of alchemy. A life for a life. A body for another. Alphonse deserved so much more.

He opened the door to his room and smiled as Alphonse turned away from the window. He was still at the same place he had left him. He smiled back at his brother, grabbed an envelope and put his notes in it. Sealing it carefully, he scribbled something on the orangey cover and placed it in the drawer.

“Hey, Al, let’s go outside. Let’s go watch the stars.”

“Un. Sure.”

He watched as Al clanked down the hall, smiling softly. He had another week to live. He had another week to live before he gave his brother what he finally deserved, what he had promised him all those years ago.

It’ll be worth it.